Monday, January 7, 2008

I survived.

Well, almost, I still have to go to Office Max tonight to make my copies.

The Monday from Hades as been conquered!

We only needed one pair of glasses today at the eye doctor. Give you one guess who it was. Yup, I'm blind as a bat. When will my other senses start compensating for my lack of hearing and now vision. What's left? Taste? Oh yea,, like I need that to be heightened! Swell,,, just swell.

So here's where I tell you why I can't be trusted to work with the public.

I'm sitting there in the Optometrist's office and a lady comes bustin in the door with what I thought was another woman. Before she even got to the window she starts talking.


Receptionist: Sure hun, what do you need?

DL: Uhmm, she put her contacts in and they started, which one was it?,

Woman Child: First it was the right one, then it was the left one, then it was the right one again.

DL: Yeah, her eyes started burnin' real bad and I had to go get her from school and everything

Receptionist: Are they stinging right now?

WC: No, they're fine.

DL: Yeah, but they were stingin' real bad when she put 'em in, then they were 'astingin' her at school and I had to go get her and everything. You think 'em things might be cracked?

Receptionist: Honey, did you look at them? Do they look ok?

WC: Yeah, they look just fine

DL: Yeah, I think they might be cracked

Receptionist: Did you use the solution we gave you? Did you make sure they were good and clean?

DL: Oh, she's usin' it, it's that same stuff you gave us. I think they might be cracked or somethin'

WC: My eyes just started burnin' real bad (insert Napoleon "My lips hurt real bad" joke here)

DL: I think they might be cracked.

Receptionist: I think you should probably use some plain saline on them to rinse them off really well and then try them again.

DL: Can you do that? Where do I get that stuff?

Receptionist: Yes, it's perfectly Ok to use saline

DL: Can you do that?

Receptionist: "yes, you can pick up a multipurpose saline just about anywhere"

DL: You can just put that right on 'em? I just wanted to ask you what was goin' on so I could find out what's wrong with her.

Receptionist: Yes, just wash your hands really well with anti-bac soap and then spray them off with the saline. You know,, she probably just got some kind of allergen under her lens, just try rinsing them.

DL: You don't think they're cracked?

Receptionist: No, I think some kind of dander or pollen got under her lens and caused some temporary irritation. Just try rinsing them Ok?

DL: Well, I just wanted to ask you, I just need to know what's wrong with her. I just had to find out if they were cracked or not. You don't think they're cracked?

OH, for the LOVE OF PETE. I just wanted to stand of and scream "THEY'RE NOT CRACKED LADY! YOU'RE CRACKED! ARE YOU ON CRACK?"

This woman wasn't going to give up until someone said "oh absolutely, they're probably cracked, this is a real tragedy calling for some real drama, I'm glad you came in when you did, she mighta been blind for life!"

Woman child was almost laughing the whole time. She knows how to play mom like a fiddle doesn't she? She totally got out of 6th period Algebra. I'm just sayin.

Then there was the Library. Get this,, you're gonna love this. I took my ginormous, homeschool family, grossly educational, stack of books in and set them on the check in platform. We mosey back to get our next stack. We were back there maybe 10-15 minutes and the library was steady with patrons but not overly busy. So we come up to the counter and she starts scanning our books. The new little girl that works there (cute as a button btw, and sweet as she can be) gets this funny look on her face. She turns to me and says "You have a lot of books out"

I replied "oh, I know, I turned them all back in today"

the puzzled look gets worse and she starts reading me the names of the books that I just returned.

I say "no, those are the ones I just brought back"

She begins to look around the desk and so do I. They are no where to be found. There are zero books on the return platform. I have a revelation "perhaps they accidentally got put back on the shelves"

So we search, and we search, and we search. They are NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. I did end up finding ONE of the books on the "New releases" shelf. What the heck? Before I found that one book they were giving me the skunk eye like I was lying or something. Thank goodness for that one book! Someone has come in and grabbed a handful of books and took off with them. How sad is that? Anyway..... she cancelled them all out for me. Amazing.

All in all today went pretty well. I hope Chris get's home soon so I can run over to Office Max unaccosted... I mean, childless.

Oh, and by the way, the pot roast ROCKS!


Evil Twin's Wife said...

Any doctor's waiting area is prime for the human spectacle zoo. I'm never disappointed.

Jennifer said...

Oh good grief, someone needs to slap some sense into that mother's head!!
I hope you have a good day with the Nissan today ;)