11 years ago today.

Actually, it was 11 years ago last night.

It was at 9pm exactly. I was great with child. I don't mean that in a poetical, biblical sense. I mean it in the "I must have a teenager living inside of me, I'm so low that I'm walking with a foot in each state" sense. It was a warmish night and I was feelin' GOOD! Like, better than I had for months! So we decided to go to the Cabell county fair and see the crash up derby. Strange, because just 24 hours prior to this day I would have melted you with laser beams from my eyes if you had suggested that I spend my evening outside in the sticky August weather crouched on a grassy knoll. But whatever, I was game.

It was fun and we had a great time. After we left we stopped by the local Sonic Drive-in to pick up my most favoritest of pregnancy snacks..... The Ocean Water Slushy with vanilla ice cream!

Oh. My. God. I loved those sooooo much! I think it contributed to a majority of my extra pregnancy weight.

Still, I'm in the best mood. It's almost eerie really because according to my chart, I'm going on 10 days over due! At this juncture I'm eliciting stares and pity from perfect strangers. I'm HUGE.

So we head home and I'm straitening up the house and my dearest husband is laying on his stomach playing a computer game in the bed room. (Yeah,, don't try to picture how the bedroom was set up at that time, you'll hurt yourself!) If ever there was a burst of energy, I had it that night.

Then it happened. Mom always said "Don't worry, it never happens like it does on TV" so I was not expecting the lightning bolt of pain that shot through my back dropping me to my knees. When I regained my composure I looked up at the clock that was above the couch and it said 9:00 on the button.

So I kept cleaning up.

Then I let out a groan and gripped the kitchen counter. Waddling back into the living room I saw that it had only been 5 minutes.

"it's not supposed to happen that close together at first, this couldn't be it" I told myself.

This went on for 30 minutes. Every 5 minutes like clockwork a wave of horrendous pain would wash over me. So I finally resigned myself to go to the bedroom and tell the husband.

"Um, we're going to the hospital tonight"

he was less than enthused.

"when?" he said.

"probably soon, my contractions are coming on strong every 5 minutes"

"oh, well,, just tell me when you're ready."

UGH! wow, no speedy ride to the hospital, no frantic husband, nothing. Just "oh".

Talk about anti-climatic.

So I gathered up my stuff (that had been packed for weeks of course) and we headed out.

We got to the hospital about 10:30 and I was still contracting every 5 minutes but nothing more. They checked me out and I was indeed in labor.

So now what?

I walked the halls.

I walked.....

and walked....

and walked....

I was exhausted. So I went back to my room and tried to lay down. No such luck. You all know how it is. Someone's got their hand where it shouldn't be every time you roll over and then there was the "someones trying to pull out my spine" pain. At the time,, this being my first baby, I did not know that wasn't really normal.

Good thing huh?

So I labored ALL night.

They tried to give me an epidural and I'm a lucky lucky gal 'cuz my spine is situated in such a way that I can't receive one. Yeah!

My midwife came in to coach me the next morning to see if we couldn't get this show on the road. We tried every thing. Squatting, standing, heels over head, on the side, everything. She even brought out a mirror at one point to help me "focus" (eeewww). Patty (the midwife) was frustrated, hubby was goofy (watching Christine on TV and yelling "GET ME SOME ICE CHIPS,,, STAT!") So finally she brought out the big butch guns and started saying "You're just not pushing hard enough!" and "You have to get this baby OUT do you hear me??!?!". She enlisted the help of my Marine husband to start barking at me, I mean, count for me. I pushed.

I mean I PUSHED!! I busted blood vessels in my face I pushed so hard.

Finally we were all exhausted but T1 was crowning and not making progress so she brought in the dr with the skills to do a level 4 episiotomy. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I call this the "Reverse C-section". It is INVASIVE to say the least. I won't give you details,,, google it. That plus a suction cup and out he popped. I coulda swore I heard a grown man say "Wah, What's a baby gotta do to get a beer in here?"

T1 was a GINORMOUS baby. 11lbs and 26.5 inches long.

Let's review:

Toddler + no epidural = OMG.

Patty the Midwife came in to see me the next day and to say she was sorry!

11 years later, the man child sits in my living room perusing all of his birthday loot. He's a good boy. Honest to a fault, creative and sensitive.

August 18, 1996 after 4 years of infertility treatments, we became a family.

I'll tell you about his toddlerhood another day. Let's just say it's a wonder we reproduced again!