A little distasteful,, but funny all the same.
The Top Ten Signs That You’re Being Stalked by a Leprechaun:
• Generic-looking green van parked across the street with Notre Dame bumper sticker.
• Every time you turn around the pitter-pattering stops and that green fire hydrant seems to have gotten a little closer.
• Green lipstick marks on the butt of your Dockers.
• You’re being followed by a large woman with a sultry voice and a dying career. (Oops! That’s a sign you’re being stalked by Chaka Khan.)
• You don’t recall owning an anatomically correct lawn gnome.
• Card delivered with the bouquet of 4-leaf clovers reads, “I bet you’re magically delicious!”
• When you come home from work, the potatoes are missing from the cupboard and your parrot is singing “Danny Boy.”
• Prank caller has a really corny Irish accent, and Richard Gere has an airtight alibi.
• Those tiny green hairs on your toilet seat.
• Sultry voice from shower soap dish asks, “Is that your shillelagh, or are you just happy to see me?”
• Pink hearts, yellow moons, blue diamonds scratched on your car at knee-level, and Ross Perot is nowhere to be found.
• Them little green pellets in the litter box ain’t M&M’s, Chester.
• Every day this week you’ve noticed the same buckle shoes dangling just above the floor in the stall next to you.