I have this cracked tooth. It's hurting because of the tiny matter of an exposed nerve. I've never had much success with root canals or reconstructions so I need to have it pulled. No biggy, I've had it done before. I know my fate. I will eventually have some shiney new ones that I can keep in a glass on the nightstand. I've accepted this.
So my loverly husband says "See my dentist! He rocks!"
Awesome! I'll do that! I think this is a good idea because I'd been going to a clinic in Westmorland.
Yesterday was the day. First of all,, what was I thinking 8:15am? It turns out that was going to be the least of my troubles.
I go to the desk and tell the lady my name and she asks for my insurance. I tell her that unfortunately I don't have a card, but it should be the same as my husband's, could she possibly copy his information?
She said "sure, what's his name?"
(Here's the part where I tell you our real names and blow any anonymity that I had, it's important to the story, stalkers look away)
I reply "Chris Newman"
She- "No, HIS name"
Me- "CHRISTOPHER Newman"
She-"You have the same names?"
Me- :::dumbfounded::: "my name is Crystal"
She- ::::vacuous stare:::::: "OH! oh , ok, I'm sorry"
No biggy, she must be having a rough morning. I'm filling out my paper work when they call me back.
"Dr. Chris will see you now!"
No crap. Dr. Chris. Yet, she thought my name was Christopher. OMG.
Then on our way to the room she says in an overly concerned voice "aren't your kids going to be late for school?"
Me- "oh we homeschool, it's no big deal"
She- "oh, where is that? I've not heard of that one"
Me- ::again dumbfounded:: "home."
She- "OH! HOME school,, oh I couldn't do that"
(I'm inclined to believe you lady.)
Dr. Chris enters.
So what's the problem?
"I have this cracked tooth that needs to come out"
Just about the time I get the word out, he jabs his metal implement into my exposed nerve. I (I think understandably) jump and let out a squeak. He throws his hands back like someone claiming "no foul" and says "If you're going to be that jumpy, then there's nothing I can do for you"
I'm a little shocked by this so I said "I'm sorry, it just really hurts"
He said I'd have to be put to sleep (wha? he's jabbing my open nerve sans Novocain and now all the sudden we're talking anesthesia?,, did we skip something here?)
So, he says he's sending me to Mountain State Maxillofacial in Teays Valley. No biggy, whatever, I tell him I've been there before, I saw Dr.Krajekian.
He proceeds to talk over me and tell me where it's at.
Me- "I know, I've been there before... I saw Dr. Krajekian"
He- "It's really easy to find"
Ok... about now, I start to feel funny and not because I'm being ignored. My lips feel biggish and my throat is closing up.
I see my file in his hand with the giant red sticker on the outside that says LATEX ALLERGY.
I say as loudly as I can manage "AL DOSE LATHEX GLOTHES"
and almost simultaneously, he looks down at the folder and yells "DONETTA! EPIPEN!"
God bless the epipen. It sux getting it but man... does it work.
After we determine that I'm not going to die, and I start to be able to talk again, I go up to the counter to get my next appointments (with Mountain State).
She's on the phone and it's going something like this...
"oh, ok. No... no she didn't tell us that... no. Oh, ok.."
She looks up at me and says "You didn't tell us you'd been there before!"
"YES I DID!"
"oh, OH! Well, ok, no, no I didn't know that... no. Oh, wait, yes, it's on her file" (she was talking about the allergy, after everything we'd just been through)
By now, I'm beside myself. I go pay and they don't take electronic payments. No credit, no debit. Are they the last place on Earth?
OH! and I forgot to mention, this joint doesn't even have a spit bowl. They walk you to the bathroom with a paper cup! Medieval.
So, luckily, I brought some cash. Frankly, in a perfect world I shouldn't have had to pay at all but they provided a service (albeit CRAPPY) so I paid. I had to insist on paying. Not because they were being nice but because I have a co-pay and they acted like they'd never heard that term before.
Now, technically, 911 should have been called, but I knew I'd be fine and I had the kids with me so I let it slide for my good, not theirs. The boys have terrible colds and I didn't need them picking up anything else.
What a day. We ended up skipping band. The boys felt awful and I was itchy and tired. Perhaps today will be better!
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